


They're styled to the sevens whilst I'm dressed to the nines

by ZapstarBopstar



Series: Doesn't THAT mean it's true love? [1]
Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, OT+ - Freeform, OT3, OT4, Open Relationships, Other, Polyamory, otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-08-11 03:40:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZapstarBopstar/pseuds/ZapstarBopstar
Summary: Bob is bi and Linda /thought/ she wasn't. Enter Marshmallow and Caramel.





	1. I'm flabbergasted by that, but also SUPER turned on.

**Author's Note:**

> (Honestly on AO3, I specialize in established relationships but with my original works and this one I will really be challenging myself.) Yay for AUs with OCs or sum. Marshmallow is a pan trans woman who fell for a bi non-binary lady named Caramel after they broke up with bi trans guy Grahm and pan cis guy Chocolit so the two of them could get married and continue to date their other few partners [bi trans girl Flowery and pan cis girl Wreath and bi non-binary guy Garland]. Gar, Coco, and F are strippers. M, Cara, W, and Graham are sex workers who do nudes and porn and more. Marshmallow is sightly darker than on the show and has 4b to 4c hair that is naturally a golden copper kind of red. Caramel has the candy colored skin with 3c to 4a hair that is dark brown when it's not dyed. It is currently a blue bubblegum shade. Chocolit is very dark with 3b hair that is truly blonde but is a strawberry jam hue. Grahm is the cracker color and has 4b black hair that is dyed an aqua green gradient. Flowery is real light skin with 4a hair that is usually its natural shade of light brown but it's dyed blue violet. Garland has olive skin with 3c hair that was temporarily dyed lime green but is now its natural auburn. Very soon it will be dyed star fruit yellow for a much longer duration.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus note: Mas is from Brazil and has skin just like Lil Moisey and hair just like Yara Shahidi. He's non binary and his hair is dyed a light malachite hue.

Bob huffs and rolls his eyes. "Daddy kink? Oh, _**please**_, I don't know her." Caramel giggles sweetly and kisses his nose. Bob then smiles bashfully before nervously touching his nose as if in awe. "That's all fine and dandy but I really am attracted to you Rio." Linda smirks sleazily. "You know, _Bobby_, it might be kinda fun for me to see you with another woman since we neither of us could find a guy for you to mess around with." Bob flushes and stutters his way through an otherwise fairly eloquent response. "I- I- It's really a good idea but I don't know I'm ready for an audience just yet. P- Per- Perhaps I could eat some of this fancy club food and then get back to you honey." He smooches so Linda sweet and so soft she smiles into the kiss, "Okay, okay sweet lips. Lemme just-", at this point she hands Cara a hefty wad of twenties and squeezes their lower thigh in farewell. "The lap dance was very much invigorating, so Ima go celebrate over two years of a happily opened marriage and call a car for Bob to leave in around two and a half hours." She shakes her hips in a very lovely Linda fashion as she saunters confidently away. "Bye Lin! I'll take the **best** care of him for you, scuba scouts' honor."

Cara makes a series of smooth yet complex hand gestures and pulls Bobby to his feet. When he gets up, they take his hand and make to lead him to a luscious back room. Before Bob begins to object, they giggle- flirtatiously this time- "Dude you can hype yourself up in the restroom after I feed you real quick. Come on!" They pick him up piggyback style and quickly get them both into a room that says "Ce-Ce's Cove" in bold bubble letters on the placard above the entrance. Bob immediately sits down and tries to hide his embarrassment once Ce-Ce places him on the nearest plush chair. “I think I'll take you up on that food but maybe you can hype me up instead?" Bob is too proud of the fact that he didn't stutter to realize Cara has begun to change out of their cotton candy blue velvet one piece. With a body as thick & toned as Bob, if not more so, the only response this could ever elicit is very shook and a little hormonal. "Uh, c- ca- can I touch you?" They shimmy and giggle flirtatiously before saying, "I was afraid you were too shy to ask." In order to distract him from the nerves, they bring up Marshmallow. "Her real name is Reece-Godiva Shaniya Marshall, did you know that? We've only been together for a year and eleven months. I think I love her." Bob looks surprised; when he saw Marshmallow last, she had been fretting about the status of Cara's love for her. Cara already knows this, though. So after they share this, they pull on a super small satin olive green bikini and sit on Bob's lap.

Bob decides to non-verbally express his gratitude by rolling a fancy flower joint for Caramel, who has already started eating the appetizers. As they chow down on vegan sesame 'chicken' bites, they ask Bob what he'd like to start off the meal with. "Some tempura green beans sound good." Caramel begins to feed him just that. "My real name is Carnelian Carmela Chloral Coca. It's cause my eyes look like hazel plus carnelian and dark hazel plus deep deep brown." Bob has finished rolling up for Caramel and he makes note of that before asking them to close their eyes. Laughing softly, they close their eyes, finish chewing, and kiss Bob's cheeks within minutes. "I'm going to give you your surprise now." Quickly using a match to light up, he places the joint in between Cara's lips before telling 'em to open their eyes. "Rio! Thanks so much!" They wriggle on his lap and take the little gift before sliding the meal plates over. Bob chokes on air before he grins shakily and says "Why are you still flirting with me? Linda paid already." Ce-Ce rolls their eyes, "I **like** you silly." Feeding him some portobello casserole while munching on veggie sushi in between puffs takes approximately thirty eight minutes. Once their weed is all smoked, they offer Bob some. He politely demurs, "Later, if that's quite alright." He squeezes their thighs and makes to kiss Cara. They kiss him over and over again and again. "My lipstick won't stain but-" "I want it to." Cara nods and gets up, but Bob grabs a hand. They keep holding on while applying a fresh coat of color. The kisses are soft and end up all over his face and neck. There's a cannabis oil infuser from a nearby room that's powerful enough to diffuse into where the two of them are. It's minty too and just the right amount of cloying. The infuser belongs to Marshmallow, of course. Cara sidles into Bob's lap before taking off his shirt. He decides to take their bikini top off, hands shaking. As a thank you of sorts, Caramel kisses Bob all down his entire front. Marshmallow saunters in, blunt in hand, "C 4! I think quitting blunts has been good for our weed kin's skin or something cause-"

She eyes the two of 'em then smirks and plants a big ole smooch on Cara's lips. Her lip stain's a rich cocoa wine which just so happens to complement Caramel's fresh lip tint since it is a deep apricot shade. Bob is too in shock to move or do much of anything, so he just nervously lifts his hands off of this C 4's thick thighs and tries his very best to not twiddle his thumbs. Once the long lasting lip locking comes to a close, Cara gets up and greets their girlfriend proper: with a lift-you-off-the-floor I've missed you hug and a rock-your-world hello I love you so kiss. Marshmallow decides to put Rio at ease. "Bobby, darling, I didn't know you were the mixed little negrito my sweet treat here is extremely, extremely enamored with. It's fine, I feel I may be beginning to feel this amour myself. Even if I wasn't, Cara is poly and so am I. We have had an open arrangement of sorts on top of that for a little over half a year, after all." Bobby is elated at this news; he peeped that Linda developed a crush on Marsh a couple of months after Tina's birthday bash and he didn't know if Marshmallow was straight or not. "Linda's crush on my girl here is dumb obvious so it's all good Bobby boy." Cara grins and finally sidles their way back on his lap. With an experimental hip roll, they get into a steady rhythm for a lap dance. " Marshmallow also grins and tosses the blunt in the nearest trash bin before seemingly reading Bob's mind. "Well, I think we'd all be cute together, I know that little white guy that Teddy sent you way cheated with one of Mort's only cool friends cause he didn't know that y'all did closed units for a while before opening up any and all polycules." "We'd never do that to you", Caramel points out before signing rapidly for the music to be put on. Some old Cash Money x Young Money collaboration blares through the top notch audio system and Marshmallow slides a new already lit flower joint into her lover's mouth as way of farewell. "Thanks for putting on the _AMATEUR AUDIENCE _playlist Re Gee! I love you like the salt loves the sea!", Cara manages to mouth out the words as this Re Gee prepares to leave. Marshmallow signs slowly and leisurely that she loves Coca like white loves privilege as she backward strolls out the room.

Bob grins lazily, he mentioned many months ago that Louise had finally decided to tell asthmatic Rudy she had some hearing loss and was hard of hearing. This, of course, spread throughout that idiotic institution of a school. He knew some of the students and faculty and staff knew of people who worked this mighty fine establishment, so the wordy wildfire must have easily leaped over to here. Cara grinds smoothly on Bob and he grabs their hips, spurring them to groove sultrier. "So, are we having sex or just the lead up stuff? I know Linda fucked that one rich white actor lookalike who is really a sweet ass white passing boy of color earlier this evening. We have well over an hour left, negrito." Bob blushes at this boldly whispered information. "I think it's a good idea. That guy- I think his name is Mas- he's beautiful. Is he still here? I wanna ask him a few things." Cara grins and kisses Bob, all tongue and teeth. He whimpers into the kiss while Cara begins to get up. They place his hands on the bikini bottom, a cute ass set of slip shorts. He obliges them, tugging them off quickly and kissing bellybutton reverently. "I know Linda jumped all in the first session headfirst and that this is only our third time seeing each other, but I'm ready to um-" "I know baby, I'm ready too." Caramel calls up Mas on their work phone, "Hey Emmy can you come to my room? Yeah, her husband wants to talk to you. Yeah, I'd love to match later. Okay Mas, love you like the s'mores loves the flame since you wanna love me like the beat loves the bass. B'bye!" "Are you guys-" "Oh, Mas? He's my baby that drives me just the right type of crazy that I'll prob'ly end up marrying and having a menagerie of pets as well as children with. He wants to marry M too but she's not ready for that level of commitment. As much as y'all are cool & M is the only one in our trans lil triad that eats meat and loves your place & I think you guys can get it whenever & Mas likes y'all enough to be cool wit us being with you two, we know you guys won't marry again. The legality scares you with **great** reason and the idea makes Linda tired cause she used to judge swingers and shit like that so fucking harshly way back the fuck when. We know she's grown past this; it's cool, honest." Emmy wanders in the room candy in hand, "Neil Mel, I brought your after a good round food! Hey Bob!" He smacks Caramel on their behind and grips it the right side of harshly, which elicits a _filthy_ moan from them. After fully disrobing Bob so he won't be nervous about the questions and for the real good times yet to come, Cara pulls Mas into their lap on a new seat so he and Bob can face each other.

Cara is suddenly very busy with little buds in their ears, over half the candy Mas gave 'em, the same joint Marshmallow gifted them, and the work phone from earlier. Bob sees this as the regaling of privacy that it is and begins his questioning. "Why did Linda dive right in with you but it took her five sessions to simply kiss Marshmallow? Why do you use your real name?" Mas signs for Caramel to kiss his neck, and once obliged (Ce-Ce is marking him with lip marks and love bites), he answers. "Linda knows more about cis plus cis sex than anything else. I'm non binary but I have a penis like you presumably do as well, so. And Mallow is intimidating as fuck, that's all. I like my name a lot and most think it's fake, so." Caramel briefly pauses their music and their candy munching but not their weed smoke blowing: "I think his last questions are 1) how long have you been with these two crazy ladylike beings and 2) why don't you model or something slightly less stressful as well as much less stigmatized." Bob shakes his head, "How did you even do that? You and M read minds or something?" Mas steps in, "I've been with Mallow for two years and Ce-Ce for a little less than one. I model too, but most of my work is too radical for the mainstream mucks anyways, NSFW or not. And those two have other jobs with mental health therapy type stuff so reading people came easier to them than most of us here. We just learned to read people once we aced the first two of three interview levels." Caramel grinds lazily up against this Emmy and Mas responds in kind for around three minutes before he gets up, "B'bye lime to my zest!" "Good eve, tail to my fish!" Cara kisses his nose and hands him a cute little joint that Bob didn't even know they had time to roll. "I know using the for grinding/humping version of a condom was a great idea, so let me just get another one for the actual sex part." Bob stops Mel and grins sheepishly, "I have some here. Lin gave them to me before we got here." Caramel turns the music up and proceeds to work it on Bobby's lap: this means twerking, wining, and even red nosing galore. Bobby enjoys a voluptuous physique as much as anyone, so he decides to go with the flow: this means kissing, caressing, and even some pinching. Once they get up off of Bob, they gently grab Bobby and work him to full hardness.

"Ima roll this on now, alright? It's pre-lubricated both internally and externally, so don't worry about all that." After putting the rubber on, Cara sinks slowly onto Bob. He shivers palpably before grabbing their breasts. He's decided to try and take more of the control. He takes the joint from between their lips and finishes it off before saying "I want you to go faster and harder, I'd very much like to feel you squeezing me too, Caramel." Obliging Bob draws moans and whimpers from them, which makes him real flustered. This lasts for quite a while, as if the stamina of C 4 made Rio last longer through their uber inviting heat and dragging dick riding motions. Once the two of them reach their ends, Cara tells Bob the nearest shower is off the side of this little Cove. He showers and asks if he can give them a lap dance. Laughing and clearly very excited, Mel eagerly agrees.


	2. We use the Rich Text to talk Rich Sex: A(n) (emotionally) charged discussion saga of sorts {obviously}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We still flabbergasted, so let us go with the flow or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bob & Linda debrief and so do Mas & Carnelian & Reece-Godiva! This is really fun for all of them and they eventually meet up at a cute little cafe near Carnelian's other job. They do therapy work with dogs, horses, cats, small animals, birds, and reptiles. Reece works in the next building as an artist who does a lot of shit (animation, architecture, assemblage, calligraphy, ceramics, computer, religious/spiritual, conceptual, design, drawing, folk, graffiti, graphic, illuminated manuscript, illustration, mosaic, painting, performance, photography, sculpture, stained glass, tapestry, video, etc). Mas models and assists Carney with the stressed out animals and assists Godiva with the graffiti 'n' folk works. Bonus notes: Teddy is half Black from New Zealand and half Brown from Canada. He's bi but still so fucking weird. Zeke (18 and was almost held back more than the one) is Black and Jewish like Halsey, Drake, Cameron Boyce, and Eric Andre. Jocelyn is 17 'n' both [Afro-] Indigenous Australian and [Afro-] Solomon Islander but Tammy is also 17 'n' 1/4 Black, 3/4 white. Jimmy Pesto Jr. (17) is 1/2 Black Italian, 1/4 Brown boy from France, and 1/4 American white. His mom is Italian, but his Dad definitely is not. Mort is just white. Andy and Ollie hang out with the Rudies (regular sized Rudy is 3/4 Black, 1/4 Brown but pocket sized Rudy is like Tammy) and Gene's twin a lot a lot. The twins're 14 but were also held back. The Rudies are both around the same age as Louise.

"Dude, I'm thinking this place was a brilliant idea for us to hang out here to discuss what went down yesterday." The 'this place' Mas is referring to is a coffee shop that also serves bagels and ice cream called Moonshiner's. Reece ordered a french vanilla creme cold brew & a salmon everything bagel sandwich while Carnelian ordered a java chip frappe & a herb cheese toasted bagel. He purchased a hot chocolate coffee & a berry parfait. Mas also begins the debriefing conversation: "I think that once you four go on a few dates, it'll be much easier for you all to figure out what will work for you guys." R-G is chilling and so this means she only has a nonchalant very Marshmallow zen response: "I'm down for whatever makes the two of you happy, you both definitely know that." In between bites, Carnelian adds their two cents: "I think we should talk to them about it. I know we're all good but are they ready to go public again with a new partner or pair/set of partners?" Mas has already picked up Reece's phone and texted Bob to meet them at Classy Cool Café. His lovers are not surprised nor shocked, instead they simply inquire about the time Mas has chosen. "In an hour and forty minutes, so what would you guys like to do in the meantime?" Reece coolly says "Get our hair and eyebrows done." at the same time Carnelian excitedly says "Go to the spa!" so Mas says "Let's do both? Spend around fortyish minutes at the spa and just get our hair done after." Reece chose the spot so she pays and the three of them file into a car that she called.

Teddy is for sure ecstatic; the idea of Bob & Linda settling into a new (open) polyamorous arrangement is almost too good to be true. He is basically vibrating with cautious yet curious excitement, "Will, eh, will we get to meet this Caramel character? She, uh, **_they_** sound very interesting and elegant kinda, it'd be nice and probably really fun. I'm sure the four of you will be absolutely wonderful together." Mort isn't as open minded or in the whole thing's favor: "Marshmallow is cool I guess, but how much do you really know about Caramel? I've met Mas and he's a stand up guy-" Teddy and Bob both roll their eyes. Linda is actually the one who cuts Mort off. "-**person/individual** would suffice as well as be more accurate, Mort. Mas 'n' Carnelian are _both _nonbinary adults, man." Mort has the decency to look a little embarrassed before he mumbles his way through a genuine apology. "Anyways", Bob is clearly willing to push ahead and move on, "I think the four of us will go on dates in every possible combination and then see where things go from there. Teddy? I know you have some kinda cool -but mostly strange- friends who can help us figure out unconventional things to do in order to liven it up. Mort? You're going to drop the kids off at Zeke's, since your place is still kinda creepy and he currently lives by himself." (Zeke is only kinda dating Pesto and definitely dating Jocelyn but he is definitely emancipated and only kinda friends with Tammy.) Linda is satisfied with her husband's excellent planning but she still has something to add, "How is Zeke doing anyway?" Teddy graciously answers for Bobby, "Zeke moved out and is finally his own responsibility. Jocelyn is his neighbor and his little girlfriend but Jimmy Pesto Jr. is with both of them or something and Tammy is the odd one out, as she rightfully deserves to be." Linda sighs happily, "Ah, young love. I hope Tina is doing alright." Mort chuckles, "Tina has Daryl & that one weird skinnyish white dancer boy to somehow string along, she'll be fine."

Bob looks both sheepish and unnerved, "Well, that's all fine and dandy, I'm merely just hoping those two can handle the Genoa-influenced version of Tina. Now to get back on topic, I am looking forward to the meetup, as is Linda. I know the kids are listening so maybe I can hold Fiddlesticks while they ask all their inane and maybe even slightly less inane questions." Genoa saunters in, dog and twin in tow. "I like all of them, plus I'm pretty sure Mas wants to adopt the Pesto twins. I just want to know if Louise and I can style you guys for all the future meetups and dates and whatevers." Bob gingerly takes the dog from his son and immediately wrinkles his nose, "Why does he smell like the butt hole of a dog friendly York Patty? And sure, Tina would make us look like tryhards and Gene would make us look like sweet little old people." Genoa begins to explain that he heard spiders don't like peppermint and so he diluted some humidifier oil to help the puppy with his fear of spiders. As he's doing this, Gene barges in: "I think you guys are awesome sweet little old people and Mort is wrong! Those two will be the best thing for your social lives since us!" Louise has already brought clothes and is nodding along to one of the boys' ideas. She and Bob briefly hug their four legged mess maker together before she thrusts one of the outfits at her mother. Tina rolls her eyes jokingly. "They're too cool for you, but maybe _that's _the best thing. I heard there will be a wedding. Is Fiddlesticks invited? Is Marshmallow a good kisser? I heard Jimmy Pesto Sr. talking about how all the people that work at that club are really good with their mouths. Oh, wait-" Linda is too busy petting and teasing the dog to do much anything else. Bob grimaces. The dog can go, but only if we muster up the nice clothes and the good gifts. Marshmallow is a divine kisser, but that really isn't any of your business. Kids, please try harder to avoid Jimmy Pesto Sr." Teddy is still assessing the outfits Louise brought, "I think that purple for Linda and blue and Bob is the best way to go." Mort tells Genoa to avoid brown or blacks shoes as he rubs the dog's ears and then leaves.

Teddy ends up running after Mort since he's the kids' ride. Genoa and Louise look at each other without speaking for a few minutes and then lay outfits down on the one table in the restaurant they cleaned specifically for this purpose. Tina takes Fiddlesticks, she calls him Fiddler because he likes to scurry/climb up onto ledges and roofs, while taking Gene to the car. He blabs about how much Zeke and the other twins like dogs and how this means their visit will be great. The Pesto twins coincidentally invited themselves to Zeke's under the guise of visiting their brother when in reality they are looking forward to hanging with Jocelyn. (She does stuff like makeup and hair for real money now, you guys.) Genoa tells Linda that he'll help her with her makeup on their actual dates and Louise tells Bob "Have fun, ya crazy kids!" They leave and Louise grabs a bag of stuff for the puppy while Genoa grabs a bag of stuff for Zeke, Jocelyn, Jimmy Jr., and the other set of goofy twins. The outfits are very, very cute: Bob's shoes are silvery like the moons on his cool crescent studded shirt and he has on a simple bracelet the same shade of pastel cerulean as said shirt. He and Linda have on matching Apple Bottom jeans, but she's wearing a dark royal purple halter top with glittering gold accessories and bronze strappy sandals. She watches one of Tina's makeup tutorials before Bob checks his messages, sees they have less than thirty minutes left until the meetup, and goes to smoke some reefer far far away from house. Linda redoes her flat twists for the second time, drinks some loose leaf floral tea, and goes to get a real quick mani-pedi. Her new polish is a shimmery color changing deep green.

Reece got a set of jumbo twists in jet jet blue black while Carnelian got their hair in many a Bantu knot and Mas has a bunch of small single braids. They got their hair done first because they didn't have an appointment at the spa and they're now nearly done getting massaged, waxed, threaded, exfoliated, and generally treated well by professionals they visit often as well as trust. Mas is half asleep but Carnelian set a timer, they're walking to the C times Three anyways. Reece is flirting with Carnelian while trying to plan a date for the pair of couples & one for herself and the other members of her triad. The first date is going to be up to her and that one skating Speedo guy (he's somehow both good friends with Teddy and from the Virgin Islands). She calls him up and he's so genuine, "There's a vegan spot near my new job! I can get you guys real primo seats as long as you all are okay with being around nudists, Godiva Reece!" Carnelian overhears them, "Hey hey! I've heard so much about you and that part of town! Is it true that you now work either at a skate shop or a animal training school?" Skater guy smiles so mysteriously, they can feel it even over the phone, "I work a skate shop and that school, man. I like 'em so much I'm part time at both! I gotta go but I think the date should be at a play and then some cool ass food place. Bye, you two!" Mas slowly blinks awake, "I'm almost 90% sure that man is dating my favorite little cousin." (Mermaid girl is related to Mas, of course.) He gets up and is very sleepy yet still, so Carnelian gently picks him up. They and Reece share a fond chuckle before they leave out the spa. After texting Linda, Carnelian tells Reece to text Bob. Mas will likely sleep through the date, so Reece sets up a Studio Killer music video playlist for him to enjoy as he continues to rest. They make it to the C times Three with two minutes to spare and then Bob lets them know they will be a little late. After sliding into a big booth that is near a cushy sofa, Carney lays their Emmy down on said sofa and kisses him softly on the eyelids before doing the same to R-G. Ree sits next to the two of 'em before calling Bob.

Bob almost drops his phone and even though Teddy cleaned his car for the first time in a couple of days, he's uncomfortable. Linda senses this and hold his hand. After fumbling a few times Bob answers the phone, "Oh, h-hey Marshmallow. We're ten minutes away, we couldn't get a cab or a car or anything. How are you all doing?" Reece smiles serenely, "We all are doing fine, our boyfriend is sleeping and the two of us are getting ready to order him something for when he stirs, what would you two like to eat, Bobby?" Linda is very much looking forward to this not-a-date, "Hey Reece! Hello Carnelian! Hiya there Mas! Sleep well, honey! I'd like one of those healthy mushroom pasta dishes and Bobby would probably like something with scallops but he's all giddy nervous, too!" Carnelian manages to soothe Bob's anxieties, "If all goes well. we can end our nights like that one in the Cove. I'd love to show you my new massage oil collection. They're dual use, though~". He sputters and it's very cute. "I was considering the non lobster seafood options but I think would actually like one of those Asian inspired vegetarian chicken dishes, I heard the General Tso's with wild rice is good. And, um, hi Carnelian." They giggle sweetly as Reece begins ordering for the table. Mas and Carnelian will both eat pita portobello wraps, while Linda and Reece are getting the same thing. "Don't worry. Rio, Mas is paying."

As they are finally here, Teddy gets very happy. He eagerly opens the doors and saunters into the building, "Eh, hello there! My name is Teddy and I am so happy to finally meet you all." Mas is sitting up and is the first to greet Teddy in return, "Hey, my name is Mas, and this is Carnelian and that is Reece." The three of them smile widely, flustering Teddy. He asks them stuff about their jobs and their hair as well as their makeup and their relationship. After getting his answers, he orders a beer and goes off to sit by himself. As Bob and Linda sit next to Reece and Carnelian, the triad offers Teddy a bunch of hugs. He accepts and Mas starts the serious conversation very soon after. "I think that you guys plus my girls is a great idea. I just feel like you need to really talk about what you expect because these negotiations are only as easy as the experience of the newest one to all this can allow." Mas goes to get a complex julep type beverage and sidles up to Teddy, "I think we'll be fast friends, you know? Your Speedo skater guy friend is clearly an indicator of how cool you are, hm?" Teddy is nervous and intrigued, "Well, um, I agree cause, um, you three are really cool and I like the vibe, you know?"Mas sips slowly and engages Teddy in a bunch of little intro to friendship games that only last until both of their drinks are downed. Mas brings up taking a nap and Teddy helps him sit on same cushy sofa as before. The two of them listen to the same playlist as before until Mas drifts into sleep. Carnelian puts on a new playlist, it's all music from iann dior and bbymutha this time. They ask Teddy if he'll hang out with Mas until they're all done, he just nods along to the plethora of slowed and reverb and original songs in answer. "I think I'd like to hear how Linda feels about the two of us because Bob is already swaying in our favor, you guys." The food comes and Linda is still at the same energy level as before. "The idea of this is so beautiful, you know. I _know_ we will be so good together because the chemistry and the compatibility all just screams high long term potential." Linda looks ready to tear up and she squeezes Bob's hand as she finishes speaking. Carnelian is already inundated with **feeling**, "T-th-the fact of the matter is I didn't think I'd ever want more love in my romantic life, not even for longer than a couple of nights with other people who do live outside the one and the two of genders in this Western world, but Bob-" They sigh and grab Reece's hand for support.

"You are just so sweet and genuine and bi, I don't think I'd ever want to say no to your pretty face. I knew Mas feels pretty set in our trio and that Reece-Godiva is down for whatever, so I just needed to know how Linda is feeling. After she spent some time with Godiva, I felt that I could go ahead and fully want you- the both of you." Bob uses reason in order to mask how emotional who knows he will be getting: "I haven't felt so jealous in such a long time. I am more than okay with you guys working the jobs you have and being as stunning as you are, but seeing other people eyeing you, I just don't know if I can handle that." Reece-Godiva kisses all the other three on their foreheads before she speaks; "Well, damn, Bobby, if you wanna get engaged, why don't you say so?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The kids overheard Teddy talking about how this newest venture will have the Belcher family real right. They are already in a special type of good mood cause they finally got a puppy (a multicolored male Pitbull + Rottweiler mix named Fiddlesticks) but they are happy for their parents anyways. All of them have brown black hair naturally. Gene (15) has a twin brother, he's cis and bi? & his twin is trans and gay. Tina (17) is trans and bi and Louise (13) is Louise. Gene is darker than he is on the show 'n' his hair is 4a and dyed a temporary baby blue. Genoa is the same shade as Gene 'n' his hair is also 4a but it's dyed a more permanent shade of polar blue. Tina is lighter than she is on the show 'n' her hair is 4c but it's under an 4a-4c Afro wig that she dyed rich indigo with orchid purple highlights. Louise is almost the same shade as she is on the show & her hair is 4b but currently under a cute ass wig that's a pastel magenta she perpetually wears in two big Bantu knots.

**Author's Note:**

> Bob aka Roberto aka Rio Rio is Black from his Moroccan mommy and brown Italian + white Spanish from his European father. Linda aka Lindita aka Lilia has two parents from wherever Moana is supposed to be from and both of them are Afro-Polynesian aka Melanesian. Bob has 3b to 3c hair and it's almost jet black. He is slightly lighter than he is in the show and his hair is shoulder length but normally braided. Linda is slightly darker than she is in the show with 4a to 4b hair that's naturally a vanilla lush kind of blonde. Unlike Bob, Linda is svelte for she swims and skates and dances and does yoga. Unlike Linda, Bob is /thick/ all over for he runs and bikes and babysits animals as well as people and teaches skateboard tricks.


End file.
